Teen Dating and Teen Love (Part 2 of 2)
(Continued from Teen Dating)In order to build a strong, loving relationship you need to choose a partner who treats you as an equal. The best loving relationships are built with people you can talk to and laugh with ease. Love is not a thing that feels "forced" nor should you have to pretend to be somebody else to get the approval of someone you fancy.
When assessing a relationship and trying to determine whether or not it is love you should also be very honest with yourself and the other person from the very beginning:
If one person feels a lot of love and the other does not, the results can be disastrous. If a person tells you that they don't share your feelings, then take the hint and let them go. Unfortunately when confronted with a rejection, many people tend to go into denial and believe that a "no" is actually a "yes." They will say that the person has a fear of commitment or had a bad childhood.
The reality may very well be that the person is just not interested. If you are confused about this because an individual is sending you mixed messages about the status of your relationship then your best strategy is to watch the person's actions to you as opposed to what they say. For example, a person who tells you that they love you and then stands you up three times in a row for a date doesn't love you.
If the feelings are not mutual, beware of developing false hopes and expectations and dragging on the relationship. The longer this charade goes, the more somebody is likely to get hurt. It takes more courage to end a bad relationship than it does to stay in one.
When you do find that special someone, make sure to set aside some time to be together, but also save time to be by yourself. This alone time is crucial for good self-development and analysis. It also stops you from being swallowed up by the identity of your partner. Many people identify so much with the loved one, that they forget their own path in life. This is how you develop an unhealthy condition called codependency with your significant other.
Sex does not have to be a part of any relationship if you are not ready for it to be. The best way to deal with sexuality is to be open about it with your partner. Communicate your feelings and find out what the other person is thinking. If you want physical intimacy to be a part of your relationship, ideally you should be able to talk to them about it without feeling embarrassed, as you will be sharing more with them when you are naked with each other!
Although it is easier said than done, a strong relationship is built on good communication skills. Being able to talk about sex, condoms, and other forms of birth control with your partner is also important to prevent any future confusion in the relationship.
It is important to understand and remember that it is perfectly all right for you to say "No" if you are not ready to have sex. If it is not the right time in your life to have sex, speak up and don't let partner, your friends or what you see on MTV persuade you. Don't let the opinions or judgements of your peer group influence your decision, either. Everybody matures sexually at his or her own pace and there is no early or late time in life to initiate intimacy. A truly caring boyfriend or girlfriend will understand your reasoning and respect your decision.
Do what your heart tells you and what you feel is best for yourself. Part of being able to love and respect another is loving and respecting yourself first.