Dating and the Single Parent (Part 1 of 2)
If you are a single parent and you have found yourself suddenly single, you might be a bit hesitant to start dating right away. This is perfectly normal, as you are probably going through the many stages of grief that eventually lead to an acceptance of your situation.However, there is a point at which you will have to abandon self-pity and dust off your confidence and self-esteem so you can parade it before the world again. Although a certain mourning period is acceptable after a death or the break up of a marriage or long-term relationship, there are certain signs that you might be putting off the inevitable...
For instance, if wolfing down a container of Ben and Jerry's every night seems like a more than adequate substitute for romance to you, then it might be time to get back into the dating scene. Also, one can only spend so many months talking to children only before one starts referring to car accidents as "boo-boos" and trips to the restroom as "going pee pee." Sooner or later, you are going to have to talk to an adult who is of legal drinking age —whether you like it or not!
As many single parents have not dated, since they wooed their exes, many are reluctant to get out there out of fear of being laughed at or rejected. Many of them feel as they have been shamed enough by their last partner.
The first thing you must realize is that rejection is a normal, accepted part of the dating process and it is not personal. You are to consider any dates that don't work out as part of the process of finding a good relationship. No matter how desperate you feel about finding a father or mother for your child, the other person is allowed to say "no." The problem with recently divorced single parents is that because their previous situation was usually so ugly, they don't have a strong enough ego to let rejections roll off their back. Decide right now that rejection is inevitable and that no matter what happens, you can handle it!
In order to become this confident, happy and sexy person that others will want to date you first have to check any emotional baggage or chips that you may have on your shoulder at the door. Without the psychological muscle to dispense with these matters you will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, always talking about your ex or projecting bitter experiences and unpleasant qualities onto a newcomer.
Make a rule with yourself that you are going to do your absolute best not to drag the past into new relationships, as there is no surer turn-off for a potential lover than a person who insists on living in the past. If letting go of the past seems like too much of a chore for you, you might be in need of some counseling so you can move on with your life.
It is also important... [Continued: Single Parent Dating 2]