Mr. or Mrs. Right? (Part 2 of 2)

(Continued from Mr. / Mrs. Right)

Are you currently married, living with someone, in jail, a member of a cult, an alcoholic, a manic depressive, unemployed, scared of clowns, have supernatural powers, have more than two pets or involved in organized or disorganized crime. If he or she answers yes or even "I don't know" to any of these questions, drop him or her like a hot potato!

If your partner succeeds in replying "no" to Part One of the discussion, then you must proceed to Part Two: The Definition of the Relationship. If you like you may even put the following rules down as a paper agreement.

For the first thirty days of the dating, neither person should be able to refer to the other as my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my significant other, my lover, my one and only or my fiancée. Acceptable descriptions are "the person I am seeing", "the person I am dating" and "the person I am going out with."

Until that 30 day period has passed, both parties shall consider themselves to be single. Neither party will be allowed to ask the other to account for their actions if they should suddenly disappear with no explanation for the weekend. Do you agree? (If no agreement, forget it.)

Before you proceed to your future together as Mr. and Mrs. Right, it is required that you date for at least a little while. Part Three of your discussion should entail a conversation about the Laws of Dating.

The Laws of Dating

All dates shall be made within 24 hours of advance and there shall be no sudden showing up at the door or phone calls after one a.m. One shall also not create a drama or crisis purely for the purpose of getting attention. Also both shall understand that each has a life, complete with a schedule and other obligations and commitments. Do you agree (If any objections, drop him or her.)

Grounds for Immediate Termination of Date and Any Future Relationship

All expectations of a relationship shall be terminated under the following conditions:
  1. Phone call not returned in 24 hour period
  2. One or other cancels date to see ex girlfriend or boyfriend
  3. Either party suggests bringing a friend on the date
  4. Man is too broke to pay for the first date
  5. Either party says I love you before having met the other
  6. Either party compares the other to his or her ex
  7. Woman asks for credit card or visa number to process payment for services rendered
Do you agree? (If not, block their email address, phone number and run for the hills.)

It is important to remember that no matter how disappointed the other person is acting, you don't owe anybody an explanation as to why you don't want to date him or her anymore.

However, sending them above form before you make a date, might spare you the pain of a) having to get to know them and b) rejecting them after you get to know them.

Good luck with your negotiations and see you two at the matrimonial alter!