Evaluating Personal Ads (Part 2 of 2)
(Continued from How to Read Personals)Avoid profiles that read like personal diaries or a litany of complaints. An example would be "I decided to give this a try after my husband beat me and left me for my sister." Any references to recovery, addiction, mental illness or personality disorders should also go on your "ignore" list.
Avoid profiles that use overtly provocative language such as "horny housewife" or "I'm a bull in bed." These individuals might actually be suffering from a condition known as a sex addiction.
Assess a profile to see if it is too good to be true. For instance, one might want to ask why "a handsome, wealthy brain-surgeon" is looking for love online.
Also avoid profiles that seem to concentrate too much on what the contact is looking for in a partner, but mention very little about the author. An example would be: "I am looking for a woman who is a good cook, enjoys swimming and long walks in the country. She must have an above average I.Q. and be below 120 pounds. Brunettes and people under the age of 24 need not apply."
Ignore profiles where the respondent has not bothered to write more than a few words about themselves. If they don't have enough energy to write a profile, they probably won't get off the couch to meet you.
Lying about one's age is a big problem on the net as well. Underage Romeos can often be spotted by their amateur language, references to pop culture and bad spelling
Older liars on the Internet are harder to recognize. For instance if a woman is claiming to be thirty two, but her interests are bridge, golf and listening to Englebert Humperdink ...chances are she's lying. , If a man writes that he is "hip to the sounds that people groove to" he is probably over fifty.
Lying about your age can also get you into trouble if you do meet someone you like and they believe you. This happened to a thirty nine-year-old friend of mine who claimed to be thirty-two (and she looked it too!) She met another forty-year old man on the net and they went out for months and months, until... uh oh... her birthday rolled around.
As it was her fortieth birthday, which most people consider to be a milestone, all of her friends were put in the awkward position of concealing her real age from her boyfriend. Of course, all of this was all blown sky high when her mother showed up, unannounced at the party, sporting a birthday cake with forty candles on it.
Unfortunately, because she described herself as "honest" on her character profile, she and her boyfriend ended breaking up after a series of "what else are you hiding from me?" type fights.
Dishonesty is not always the best policy when it comes to creating a profile on the Internet. Sooner or later your imposture will be revealed —by the Driver's license falling out of your wallet and onto the floor, the sudden obvious onset of menopause, or your hairpiece falling off during lovemaking.