Are Office Romances Good Or Bad? (Part 2 of 2)
(Continued from Dating Coworkers)It is helpful to imagine the worst case scenario: your relationship doesn't work out and your ex is going out with someone else who either frequents the office or works there as well. Can you handle it, or would you have to quit? If your response is the latter, it may not be worth going through with the affair.
Another thing to consider is your company's policies regarding inter-office romances. What is the atmosphere like? What are the official rules of behavior and the unofficial codes of conduct? Consider the reactions of your employees, co-workers or boss should your affair be discovered. Is it going to be worth it? Or are you going to set yourself up as the object of an ongoing subtle, yet damning sense of disapproval that could blight your career for years.
If you do decide to have a romance, the best thing you can do is conduct yourself in a very formal, efficient and business-like manner in the work place. Save drama, squabbles, baby talk and public displays of affection for the outside world.
It is also advised, in order for the relationship to thrive outside the office, that the two of you don't bring your "work" home with you by discussing it endlessly. Talking about what went on in the boardroom that day is no substitute for genuine pillow talk. Before you embark on an office romance you might want to check out what your boss might be unofficially thinking about it even if your company does not have rules about inter-office relationships.
High-profile romances, including that famous one in the Oval Office, have focused national attention on issues of sex and privacy in the workplace. President Clinton first responded to allegations of an affair with Monica Lewinsky with indignant denials. Even after he admitted to a relationship that was "not appropriate" and "wrong," Clinton insisted that the whole affair was a private matter between him and his family.
An individual's privacy is protected by various laws and regulations, but as agencies, like private companies, find themselves paying huge settlements for sexual harassment and sex discrimination claims. Many are a direct result of office romances gone wrong.
This is why your boss may officially or unofficially believe that he or she has the right to establish rules and regulations about office relationships.
Office romance is not the same as sexual harassment. Romance is about attraction, not putting up with unwanted attentions. Sexual harassment is about power and control. But the line between romance and harassment can become very thin. You should know that a boss who engages in an office romance with an employee can find himself or herself charged with sex discrimination by a boss or fellow employee even if no allegations of harassment are raised by the partner.
In most cases, mutually agreeable relationships between employees pose no danger to the company. However, there are instances where they are inappropriate and may be harmful to the company and its interests. Before you decide to pursue your co-worker, you might have to ask yourself, what is more important: your career or emotional interests. Then take educated risks according to how well you and your partner can handle any potential fall-out from the relationship if it suddenly goes sour.