How to Survive a Bad Breakup (Part 1 of 2)
It seems that nobody has ever escaped the inevitability of heartbreak in his or her life. In many relationships there comes a time when one or both participants in a relationship realize that it is time to call it day.For some people this is a devastating experience. Many people feel lost, disoriented, lonely or like their entire life is over. This is a time when most of us are ruled by our emotions as we mourn the closing of a sometimes lengthy and important chapter in our lives.
When humans suffer emotional loss, they are said to go through stages of grief. There are no short-cuts or ways to get around this process, it just simply must be lived through. Some people call this process "the dark night of the soul." It is usually a painful experience, but in the end, you come out a stronger, wiser and more loving person than before.
Basically, once a relationship has ended you are confronted with two choices. You can either make yourself miserable by dwelling on what could have been or you can face the traumatic event with courage. Part of this might be to stop blaming the other person for the demise of the relationship and taking accountability for your part in it.
Typically many people go into a phase of denial after a break up and some actually feel elated, freed or enthusiastic about being single. Sometimes it can take as long as six weeks before an individual acknowledges the enormous impact that the break-up has had on his or her life.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, the heart-broken individual might subscribe to the belief that the former partner is coming back or even pretend that the loved one has just gone on a long trip. This is a bit of a trick that the mind plays on itself. Denial is a normal response to emotional injury. It is a kind of shock that we go into to prevent ourselves from becoming too depressed or suicidal.
Sooner or later, however, it is important to acknowledge to yourself that the relationship is finally over. Many people do this by formalizing or ritualizing the matter by removing the person's name from their phone numbers, throwing out their belongings, cutting off mutual friends or forbidding others to mention the ex's name.
It is also normal for people to feel anger after a break-up. It is very common for people to indulge in fantasies of revenge and cruelty against an ex partner. There is, however, a fine line between dreaming about getting revenge and acting out your fantasies. If you feel tempted to do so, it is wise to get counseling, so you can air your feelings in a safe environment, in front of an understanding person who has no interest in seeing you single or married.
Try to understand why... [Continued: Breaking Up 2]