Dating Disasters (Part 2 of 3)
(Continued from Bad Date Stories)Recently, I was set up to see a play with a famous author by some well-meaning friends. I have a PhD in English and have trouble finding a man that I think is smart enough for me. I had heard a lot about this guy -- how smart he was, how good looking, how he had two PhDs, one in English and one in Math. I also heard about how he won last year's Marathon run for breast cancer, how he designed an award winning web site, how he owned two homes and a cottage, and how even found time in his busy schedule to read for the blind. Well, after hearing his sexy, well-spoken voice on the phone I agreed to meet him at the theatre. However, once we were seated together, I noticed this incredible body odor coming from him. Seriously he smelled worse than a skunk. And that was just his body odour. When he opened his mouth to speak, the stench was even worse. I kept thinking, "What could be caught in anyone's teeth that could possibly smell like that?" The stench was so unbelievable that I took out my pocket-handkerchief and kept holding it to my nose, just to breathe. I kept pretending to blow my nose as if I had allergies so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. Afterwards we went out for coffee, but I insisted we sit on a patio so I could at least get a bit of air. He drove me home, and I was thinking "this is a shame, I should like him, this is a brilliant famous man", but when he leaned over to try and kiss me I just couldn't take it. He pursed his lips and I just left him there, looking like a goldfish while I ran in my house and locked the door. Of course, he never called me again, which was a big relief!
I met this guy in a coffee shop. He was really nice, and seemed smart as a whip. After a few weeks we sort of fell into a routine where I would stop by at a certain time, to see if he was there —and he always would be. After several more "accidental on purpose" meetings he finally asked me out on a date. He told me he was going to take me some place really really special. He told me he found it hard to "trust" and that he was going to take me to a place where he had never taken a girl before. So I got all dressed up, thinking we were going to some special romantic spot. He picks me up and the next thing I know we are driving to a church and I'm thinking "well, maybe he's really into architecture." Next thing I know we are in a room filled with chairs and my date is sitting in a circle with the rest of them with a big smile on his face saying "My name is William and I am an alcoholic." When it came my turn to speak, and I dared to say that I wasn't an alcoholic, they all frowned and looked at me as if I was in denial. After the A.A. meeting, William invited me along with the rest to a coffee shop. I told him to "get with the program" and walked home alone.
I dated this guy for eight weeks and I thought... [Continued: Bad Date Stories 3]