Who Calls After the First Date? (Part 1 of 2)
It's the next morning and you wake up and you think, "Gee, I had a wonderful time on that date last night!" What now?
According to dating gurus, your answer might vary depending on whether you are a man or a woman. It is unlikely that a second date will occur unless one of you picks up the phone. The big question is, "who should make the first move?"
One would think that such a consideration is not even necessary if two people really like each other, but the sad fact is that this relationship is now about power and accountability.
Whoever picks up the phone and calls first is often the one who is thought to be taking the ultimate responsibility for the course of the relationship.
Traditionally, it is thought that men should initiate the first call, as it is somehow unseemly for women to make such a brash move. Most women are apprehensive about picking up the phone in the early stages of a relationship, because they don't want to give the impression that they are too eager or too desperate.
They have been taught that if they have to chase a man, they will never end up marrying him. Picking up and calling him to follow up on the date would be considered "chasing after a man."
Many women also fear a rejection or even worse, some sort of indication that the man is dating other women.
Although it should be mutually understood that when dating, most people are by definition still single and ALLOWED to date others, it is still disconcerting to pick up the phone and have a purring female voice answer: "Just a second, I'll get him."
Another dreaded response is no response at all, and never having your phone call returned ever. This puts the woman in the position of wondering if she was too forward to call or wallow in the worry that she might have done something to offend him on the date.
However, since times have changed, some women do like to take the bull by the horns and suggest a second date to their potential lover. Some men appreciate this approach and others don't. Many men don't appreciate it, since it doesn't allow them to kind of "script" the conversation in their mind before hand. Sensitive or shy men, however, might be relieved to receive that post-first-date phone call.
Sometimes a woman will... [Continued: After the First Date 2]