Who Calls After the First Date? (Part 2 of 2)
(Continued from After the First Date)Sometimes a woman will make the first call, simply because she is affronted and think it is rude that the man did not call her at all. If you are a woman who is thinking of doing this in order to instruct the man on how to practice the laws of common courtesy, be careful. Usually there is a good reason that the man has not called - mainly that he does not care to see you again.
In the case of both sexes, it is not advised that you call right the next morning but leave it until the following night or even the next day. Dating gurus advise making the partner wait three days, in order to establish a kind of formality and courtesy in the relationship that is not over-familiar. This is also recommended as a technique for men to make women angst over their future with him and therefore, apparently, cause her to want that second date even more.
Women should also be aware that men are often taught that it is a good idea to leave woman hanging and wondering what's going to happen next. This trick, which is used to heighten sexual anticipation, is one of the oldest ones in the world. Unless your date has a randy reputation, women should know that he is more than likely sitting at home alone eating a frozen dinner and balancing his checkbook.
Timing and tact is definitely of the essence regardless of who calls. For instance it is not a good idea to call the date at work. It is also not a good idea to send presents or flowers or immediately. Without the personal contact, these kinds of gifts start to feel like stalking to the other party.
When on the phone, show a moderate amount of enthusiasm for the events of the previous night. Startling remarks such as "I am glad I have finally found my soul mate!" might scare your potential partner away. Women, in particular, have a bad habit of assuming that going on a date automatically means that the two of you are now a couple. At this stage of the game, "togetherness" is merely an idea you are entertaining rather than adopting as a plan for your future.
If you don't receive a call to plan a second date, the worst thing you can do is call the person up and express your rage at being rejected. This can give you a very bad reputation. It is also a good idea not to talk about your date too much to your friends or express too much enthusiasm about the second date. If the call for the second date doesn't happen, you will end up looking like a deluded fool. Make sure you perceive the first date for what it is, and not as a golden path that should have led to holy matrimony. Most first dates are really just an experiment to see if a relationship is even possible.
Usually, if a person doesn't call there is no shocking reason behind it. It doesn't mean he or she has been in an accident, lost their memory or lost your number. It doesn't mean that he or she must have broken his or her dialing finger. The plain truth is that most people feel awkward saying no or rejecting another person. Their way of saying no is to not call at all. When in doubt, watch a person's actions and don't cling on to any polite promises that they might have made to you on the first date. If no phone call comes at all, take the hint and leave the matter alone.