Getting Back Into the Dating Game After A Bad Breakup (Part 1 of 2)
Breaking up is hard to do, but getting back into the dating game can be even harder, especially if it has been a while and you aren't psychologically prepared for it.Being psychologically prepared means getting out of your own way and having faith that fate will provide you with another partner, just as it has so many times before.
Your first step is to heave that chip off your shoulder, get out of your bathrobe, get a make over and stop spending your nights in front of the television watching "Cheaters" or calling your friends for sympathy.
If you don't feel that you are not quite done wallowing in self pity or anger, by all means continue as you were, but realize that there will come a day, sooner or later, when you will become bored with yourself and want to face the real world again.
Once you have cried, screamed, wailed, stopped blaming, stopped shaming and forgiven yourself (as well as your ex) you are ready to go on to the next step towards becoming a bearable human being again.
This next step is called "Living in the present." This means consciously developing an awareness of what is going on around you and what you need to do to put yourself back together again. Rather than spend your days thinking such dour thoughts as "what if I die alone" and "every day I have lived so far is a lie" you are better off to practice the First Things First Rule.
This involves getting off the couch, looking around and assessing what it is that you can do in the next five minutes that will serve to improve your immediate situation. What you decide to do can be as big as paving the driveway or as small as doing the dishes.
The idea is to do something that will increase your self-respect and make you (and others) feel better about YOU. Take things one step at a time, one day at a time until you have accomplished your goal of feeling ready to face the world again.
During this healing process it is also very important to think positive thoughts. This raises your vibration so that you can attract like-minded souls into your social sphere.
If you are incapable of this, then pretend you are the happiest, most fulfilled individual in the world! Plaster a big smile on your face and "fake it 'til you make it."
Studies on the placebo effect have shown... [Continued: After a Breakup 2]